Heart Break & Abandonment

Heart Break & Abandonment

Heartbreak and abandonment are separate but overlapping sentiments. Heartbreak is the intense emotional experience that a person goes through after the end of a relationship. Abandonment can also follow the end of a relationship, but the experience is more than an emotional one. It includes the physical act of a person being abandoned; the abandoned person(s) must shift the idea of their life to not include the person who abandoned them, which can be especially difficult for children who might not understand the reason for abandonment. Both heartbreak and abandonment can trigger more serious mental health issues like depression, anxiety, and withdrawal from loved ones. 

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Heartbreak and abandonment are stressful experiences. Repeated long-term exposure to stress increases the risk of mental health problems such as depression, anxiety, and substance use disorders. Black Americans face a higher level of stress than white Americans because of structural racism, individual racism, vicarious trauma, and intergenerational trauma, so when Black Americans experience abandonment or heartbreak, that stress compounded with other stressors worsens their mental health. Although Black Americans experience mental health issues like any other culture, they are less likely to receive treatment. The lack of treatment is a form of abandonment from the country they live in, which can lead to further heartbreak in the Black American community and further stress.

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In Transcendent Kingdom, author Yaa Gyasi explores the themes of abandonment and heartbreak in a Ghanaian American family. When Gifty (the protagonist) is young, her father abandons her and the rest of her family to return to Ghana. Gifty’s father is heartbroken by his intense love for his country and decides to abandon his family to be reunited with his country. His abandonment creates a cycle of heartbreak in his family.  Gifty’s mother experiences depressive episodes. Nana (Gifty’s brother) takes on unhealthy coping mechanisms to manage the loss of his father, which indirectly leads to his overdose later in the novel. Immediately following his father’s abandonment, Nana stops playing soccer because he associates the joy of the game with his dad. Ultimately, Gifty bears witness to her family’s mental health struggles, worsening her heartbreak as her family members abandon her in the process of their own grief.