Loss & Grief

Grief is a powerful emotion regardless of the cause and often leaves people feeling numb and challenged to carry out everyday tasks. This pain often lingers but generally improves as time passes. Feelings of grief and loss are not limited to death but also in relationships, senses of comfort, places, ability, and work. In the US, death, loss, and grief are perceived as taboo in comparison to Ghana. The American ideal of happiness, strength, and the desire to follow socially accepted standards, are factors that impact how Americans grieve. Another major factor is work culture and media. Within the US, Black and African American communities face disproportionately higher amounts of adversity and trauma, from direct aggressions and microaggressions, that cause trauma and result in experiences of grief earlier than other races. Thus, the community has a higher risk of developing Prolonged Grief Disorder (PGD). 

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In American culture, the grieving process at funerals often occurs in one day. Loved ones receive food and flowers but not much else as they attempt to continue moving forward. The manifestation of grief in Ghana differs from the US. The Ghanaian funeral procession and the grieving process is elaborate, spiritual, and significant. Often more money is spent on funerals than weddings in the country. After the death of an individual, the news is posted on large posters all over the city to attract a large crowd, often hundreds, of sympathizers. The intention behind the funeral is to gather the greater community and loved ones to mourn together and offer a formal send-off to the deceased. The procession is often several days long, consisting of crying, singing, dancing, and consoling the family. The elaborate funeral process is not only to ensure that the dead pass on righteously but to emphasize change and aid individuals in accepting the new reality without their loved one. This is strikingly different from the US where individuals are expected to move on quickly and continue with life. 

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In the book Transcendent Kingdom, written by Yaa Gyasi, grief is artfully depicted through several main characters, primarily Gifty, Mother, and Nana (Gifty’s brother). The manifestation of grief in each character demonstrates the various stages of grief and the different ways they present. Nana, Gifty's brother, suffers deeply from his father's absence and his inability to play basketball as an outlet because of his injury. Nana tragically passed away before he could fully undergo the acceptance stage of grief. He demonstrates denial and anger in his numbness to life, physical violence, and consistent drug use. Mother demonstrates the denial, anger, and depression stages. Mother faced the loss of leaving her country, her husband abandoning her, and the death of her son. Denial manifests in her avoidance of problems, often by using religion as an excuse. Gifty often cited her mother's irritability and aggression, calling her “the black mamba” which is a highly dangerous snake. Depression drowned out her life, affecting her ability to sleep, eat properly, engage with others, and maintain hope for life. Gifty’s grief manifests primarily through denial. She uses avoidance behaviors by keeping herself busy with work and avoiding social interaction. Second, she displays resentment towards her family and her religious experiences. Gifty demonstrates many traits in the bargaining stage of grief, primarily perfectionism, rumination on the past, overthinking, and anxiety. Despite adversity, she displays insightful awareness of her feelings and emotions. This awareness has allowed her to begin accepting the pain from the past and continue moving forward.